#recovery

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Spring Comes

dear friends,

I have been quiet for a few months.

It truly has been a winter,  an extended retreat into my home and into myself.

 

As do many women going through perimenopause, I found myself really struggling with related issues and recently underwent a hysterectomy. Christmas left me quite exhausted, then I needed to prepare my body and mind for surgery.

 

This extended time of introversion has been a beautiful gift though.

I am waking up to the understanding that as women we are very much cyclical beings, predictably and elegantly going through our own seasons. For many years, I have been so hard on myself for the times when I am less productive and engaged with the world,

not understanding that it is during these times that can feel so empty that all is in fact getting ready to be born again.

 

Over these last few months, I have thought often about my next steps, and the long and winding path that has brought me here. At times it has felt as if I have been waiting for a decade for something to happen,

and then I realize that in fact everything has happened.

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I have raised three children, I have buried a mother and a step-mother, I have undergone 3 surgeries one of which was quite major,  I have navigated the school system trying to implement alternative & workable programming, I have supported my husband in his busy and intense career, and have begun to sow the seeds of my own.

 

And so here I am now.

 

It feels as if a chapter has ended and a new one is about to begin. Our kids are getting older and I can feel subtle new realities beginning to take shape as life alters in interesting ways,

and this long and winding road now feels as if it has happened in but a moment.

 

In terms of my work, I need to announce a few things.

Most of you know that I have pulled out of my little retail space and am no longer selling stationery.  I will continue to do more workshops but they, too, are evolving into something new. This will be my last blog from WordPress as I am presently collaboratively  building a beautiful new website that I am so excited about, and much of my writing will stream from there.

 

 

Stay tuned friends.                         Spring is on its way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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That Purse Project

One of the many things that I have been thinking about as I consider Joy is the idea of  celebrating and really paying attention to the spaces around me. Being married to an architect, I have come to recognize and consider aspects of space all the time, but much of our conversation tends to be focused on bigger spaces – such as the feel of a building or a room.

I am feeling drawn, though, to honour the very little spaces too – the drawers, the closets, the shelves, handbags.

Years ago, I read about the idea of having a ‘sick-day drawer’ which would be dedicated to such days and filled with nurturing items such as puzzle books, a beautiful journal, chocolate, a brain-candy novel,

whatever makes you feel happy and comforted.

Though I haven’t yet created such a drawer and my sick days are few and far between, after my heart surgery I did have a whole 6 weeks in which I was quite forced to nestle in.

I had not personally designated space for myself to convalesce but my family  created for me a whole loving space completely devoted to my recovery. I think that I will always remember how comforting it felt to be in that big chair by the window as Spring awakened,

on one side a basket of magazines, books, and cards and on the other my treasured little antique table that had belonged to my Scottish grandmother.

Fresh flowers and cups of tea,

friends arriving with treats and treasures.

The days passed and for perhaps the first time in my adult life other than right after my babies were born, the world came to me while I just stayed put in my perfect little nest.

 

Recovery has its challenges, as does fully committing to it,

but the idea of creating a nurturing space is an unarguably loving and healing thing to do for yourself, even when you are not sick.

 

For Christmas this year from Dan, I received a beautiful new brown leather handbag.

It’s a big bag, which can be a tricky business because before long it is inevitably filled with old grocery lists, more lists (I might possibly make more lists than anyone I have ever known), 14 pens, my kids’ garbage, and you get the idea.

Well, my kids are old enough now to throw out their own garbage and carry their own stuff,

so I am reclaiming this particular space.

 

Presently in my purse is some wonderful hand lotion that I will often and generously apply on my dry and cracking prairie skin (and share with you if you are sitting next to me), 1-2 good quality pens (have I mentioned my complete adoration for pens), a lovely little journal, ginger candies (my kids hate them which helps), my wallet, and whatever else is presently inspiring me and making me happy.

 

It’s a small thing but it’s me nurturing myself while I am out and about in the world.

I can’t always easily get to transforming the big spaces but I can take tiny steps every day to making my life a little more beautiful.

Happy Valentine’s All – Wishing you all beautiful small and big spaces.

 

Be your own best friend. xo

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carrying around some love and nurturing

what used to be in my purse

what is in my purse now

it’s the big things, and sometimes it’s the little things