I need to clarify something…

I often tell people that they are beautiful. And though I always mean it, sometimes I think it may come across as being a superficial  word or a compliment that has become meaningless from overuse,

but to me it is often the very best word that I can find.

 

And though it’s entirely possible I may be noticing your lovely hair-cut or outfit (or shoes!),

 

usually what I am really talking about is how beautiful you are,

and that I see you, and that I am happy to see you,

and I often even want to tell you that  I love you and give you a hug,

but some people are not ready for that kind of onslaught of affection, so I don’t –

 

but do it in my mind instead. (:

 

Or when I send a message or an email to you, and tell you this in writing, my meaning is the same –

I am in awe of the essence of you, and you are beautiful.

I don’t know how to explain it well otherwise, but life can be brutal and when people can,

still,  despite all of the certain heart-ache,

just show up and be joyful and kind and creative and dedicated and invested

 

(like so many of you are),                 to me that is

 

extraordinarily beautiful.

 

I have a dear friend who, when we were in our twenties, would see an elderly wrinkled woman making her way and she would comment to me on how beautiful she was. I was still young and caught up in image and I didn’t quite get what she was seeing,

but I was intrigued and would look harder at people and at things, spurred by the deeper wisdom of my friend.

 

Now, of course,  it seems so obvious.

That  elderly woman is brave

 

                        for she has lived.

 

We don’t know her story but we don’t need to. We can be pretty much guaranteed that she has loved and lost, weathered storms and walked through fire, laughed and cried and raged, been both sick and healthy, depleted and elated.

 

And yet there she is out and about in the sun, tending to her daily errands,

 

and my god how is that not earth-shatteringly beautiful.

 

I just read a wonderful book (Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton) where Melton is describing to her daughters what it really means to be sexy and beautiful. I have been thinking about this a lot, because I am finding myself having lots of conversations lately with my 14 year-old daughter  around this topic – and it’s such an important one.

 

…If what you want to be is pretty, you’ll have to keep changing yourself constantly – and eventually you won’t know who you are.

What I want to be, girls, is beautiful. Beautiful means ‘full of beauty’. Beautiful is not about how to look on the outside. Beautiful is about what you are made of. Beautiful people spend time discovering what their idea of beauty on this earth is. They know themselves well enough to know what they love, and they love themselves enough to fill up with a little of their particular kind of beauty each day….

 

You will meet plenty of women who are pretty but haven’t yet learned how to be beautiful. They will have the right look for the times, but they will not glow. Beautiful women glow. When you are with a beautiful woman you might not notice her hair or skin or body or clothes, because you’ll be distracted by the way she makes you feel. She will be so full of beauty that you will feel some of it overflow onto you. You’ll feel warm and safe and curious around her.  Her eyes will twinkle a little and she’ll look at you really closely – because beautiful, wise women know that the quickest way to fill up with beauty is to soak in another human being. Other people are beauty, beauty, beauty. The most beautiful women take their time with other people. They are filling up.

 

Fall PeaceCard Events:

‘Wonder Women’
Thursday, October 27th, 2016
Herbal teas & fall treats
7-9pm
915 15th St. South, Lethbridge
hosted by Karen Westwood                   email:karenforest@me.com
Cost: $40
Past Participants: $35