This past week, I lost a least 100 pounds, or so it felt like.
In an unexpected and terribly powerful swoosh of love, I somehow was finally able to let go of an inner demon that has haunted me for a good ten years. There is no need to delve into the specifics, but just know that this was a fear/worry that in many ways was always lurking underneath even my most sincerest of smiles and happiest and buoyant of days.
After a couple of recent sessions with a therapist healer/friend of mine as well as two separate conversations with two different highly intuitive women that both know and love me so well,
this 10-year-old daunting monster effectively and suddenly melted into a wimpy Wicked Witch of the West puddle.
Here’s the thing. Sometimes healing takes time, sometimes even years and years and years, and we may begin to feel that we will always be trapped and stuck and hurting,
Yet, often we just need to have many layers of experiences before we can be truly ready to let something big go.
Then….sometimes the letting go is quick and dramatic as it was for me this week, or sometimes it is slow and steady….
BUT, peace is always available to the willing, the persistent and the open-hearted.
That, I know.
I will never forget my neighbour once saying to me that she never quite got over the feeling of being in loving awe of her children. Every new phase and age holds precious gifts.
I remember, too, my mom saying that mothering a 30-year-old was as interesting and wonderful as mothering a child,
which makes sense to me now as our Alex is in her 20s and our relationship with her only continues to evolve.
So, on this weekend of giving thanks and whatever the particulars of the relationships in your life,
may we celebrate all of the ages and phases of all of our loved ones and again reaffirm the notion,
that in whatever form it may find itself in,
family is everything and abundance is only ever really about love.
I am on a bit of a quest to begin talking about dyslexia and parenting sensitive kids.
Though I taught elementary school for almost 10 years, it has been my mothering experiences that have really forced me to look at these issues from the inside out.
We desperately need to have real conversations about the related and complex challenges that many kids and parents face.
Just this week I heard personal stories of three local families that are struggling with their middle-school aged children having major anxiety related to sensitivity or a learning disability.
When I am discussing dyslexia, please note a few things:
1) I am speaking from the perspective of an educated parent who has done her research but I am not an expert.
2) My daughter is vivacious and capable and happy. She has dyslexia and she is highly sensitive, but these things are only parts of what make up the wonder of her being. She is fine with me writing about dyslexia, because she wants people to understand what the world feels like for people like her.
3) I use the word dyslexia for lack of a better word. It is a blanket term that can mean all sorts of things to different people. Depending on who you talk to and where you live, dyslexia is either the proper term, layman’s language, in vogue educationally or not. Regardless, it is usually used to talk about kids who have trouble learning how to read, spell, and may often struggle with math, despite having at least average intelligence. They are often bright sensitive kids who just learn differently and they often shine in creative areas.
The 2 biggest awarenesses that I have had in the last 5 years about dyslexia have been, ironically, about how I need to frame things.
1) Kids with dyslexia need to feel accepted.
They spend a colossal amount of time and energy having to catch up, work harder, and create their own innovative ways of coping. They are smart enough to know that they are different and this causes them no end of grief. Moving through a world that emphasizes academics can slowly and surely chip away at their self-esteem, so what my daughter needs to hear from me is,
‘I love you just the way you are. To me, you are perfect and I would not change a thing about you.’
2) Kids with dyslexia need to have their worries validated, because to them their worries and struggles are very real.
This morning when I dropped my girl off at school, I said to her,
‘I know this is hard. I want you to know that all of the things that you worry about are totally real, and I support you.’
That’s it. I could see her face, her heart, her soul, relax,
all because I didn’t say this time,
‘You will be fine. It’s not that bad. It’s not a big deal. Just don’t worry so much about it.’
There’s so much more to say, and there’s tons of hope and light in it all,
but for now let’s call this conversation opened.
Happy, happy weekend of giving thanks and celebrating abundance!