This week I actually had a dream that I was impatiently and anxiously waiting for my report card. However, there was a constant and annoying stream of obstacles and delays resulting in me not getting to know how I did.
This drove me crazy. I was actually livid in my dream.
I so desperately wanted my success to be measured in a report.
I wanted it all neatly summed up, whatever it all is.
When I woke up I was still frustrated but also a little mortified by the immaturity of my unconscious mind. Am I really still that consumed with outer perceptions of success? At the age of 41, do I really need to take so seriously someone else’s version of how I am doing?
And what exactly am I being marked on…..
my value as a mother, a wife, a friend, a family or community member, a woman?……The dream didn’t specify.
When I taught grades one and two, I really struggled with making up report cards for my young students.
I found is so impossibly difficult to just sum up a kid.
To make up for the marks that I felt were a woefully inadequate measure of a beautiful little being, I would write reams of anecdotal comments describing what I saw in each kid,
describing their strengths and struggles, their shiniest bits, their quirks and gifts.
I went on and on and on and was completely exhausted by the end of it,
because I felt like I was pulling out this information from the tips of my toes and the depths of my soul, so true to these kids did I want to be.
(Thank you, teachers, for ALL of your hard work).
This week my kids are getting their final report cards of the year and I am noticing something rather ironic….
I am not particularly invested in their marks one way or another nor do I expect lengthy and rambling comments, though I do look forward to going through their report cards.
But as their mother, I already know who they are.
I know how hard they have worked,
I know what they are capable of,
I know where they shine and where they struggle.
I have had conversations with their teachers and I know where everybody is coming from,
I also know that we live in a society that values and requires marks,
and that structured assessment practices are still necessary so that instruction can be planned and coordinated.
Our education system is far from ideal and we all know that, teachers and administrators included.
Report cards can’t even begin to sum up a person nor should we ever presume that they do.
A few pages of letters and numbers can’t possibly document all of the lovely little triumphs, friendships that faltered and grew, areas of subtle but certain growth, issues that were worked through, non-academic skills that blossomed, passions that were discovered, and insights that were ultimately found.
These things need no officious report. They are simply known,
but are so very worthy of a celebration as this end of the year milestone is reached.
And, perhaps, rather than waiting for my dream report card to come (I may be waiting for a very long time), I shall be my own teacher and simply and peacefully congratulate myself on another year’s full and beautiful journey as well. It has been said, after all, that every character in a dream is some version of yourself.
Students, teachers, parents….We all made it!
There is something so magical and enchanting about Summer Solstice and all of those extended hours of light~
and the promise of an abundant summer before us.
My heart and deep inner Celt wants to create playful and symbolic rituals incorporating flowers, herbs and delicious seasonal foods.
My first day of summer reality was a kids’ soccer game and a retirement due indoors.
No matter. It was a lovely day and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Still, in honour of ancient rituals, magic, flowers, wondrous nature, and the multiple blessings of summer, I offer you the image of this tiny fairy garden that Olivia created last summer in Waterton under the shade of a big evergreen,
perfect midsummer fairy habitat….
My Summer Reading List
Here are just some of the books that have made it onto my dance card this summer and that I will be carting around. I crave a wide range – fiction, non-fiction, memoir, etc….depending on my mood, the time of day…. They are my companions, my sources of inspiration and recreation. My sweet beloved books.
I would dearly love to know what everybody else is reading too….
My Best Stories by Alice Munro
The Lemon Grove by Helen Walsh
Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson
Why I Wake Early by Mary Oliver
The Gift by Hafiz
Graphic Novels (a seriously blossoming and highly acclaimed genre for adults too)
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel
This One Summer by Mariko Tamaki and Jillian Tamaki
Monkey Mind: A Memoir of Anxiety by Daniel Smith
The Memory Palace: A Memoir by Mira Bartok
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Living with a Wild God: A Nonbeliever’s Search for the Truth about Everything
A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life by Parker J. Palmer
Non-Fiction (photography, art journaling, paper art etc)
A Beautiful Mess: Photo Idea Book
Inner Excavation: Explore your Self Through Photography, Poetry and Mixed Media
Happy summer reading!